birthday

29. today. technically i know its just a number. but its a number that is awfully close to the big 3-0 and so i'm struggling a bit today. i think this is the first birthday that i've ever had that i am not wholly looking forward to. in the past i have always eagerly anticipated my birthdays, joyfully turning a new chapter in life and thankful to be just that one year older. but lately i find myself wanting to say stop! time is flying by, everything keeps going faster and faster and i don't want to get older anymore :) laugh all you want at me but don't deny you haven't sometimes felt it too. so how do i plan to get around this hurdle? well i am glad you asked. . . today i will make my own birthday cake and cupcakes- both nigella lawson creations- her old fashion chocolate cake and her chocolate cherry cupcakes- yum, then i have booked in a full body massage (one of my most favourite birthday traditions) after that i will probably clean the house because 18 or so of my friends are coming round for cake, and then i will put on something pretty and go to dinner at one my favourite restaurants for an amazing meal with a whole lot of my friends and finally we will eat cake! to me it sounds like the ideal plan to have a great birthday even if you're not quite sure you want to celebrate :) thankful for:

* God giving life and breathe and all good things!

* all the love, encouragement, emails and prayers everyone has sent during this drama with my visa situation :)

* that my back is no longer is pain!!

this has been a hard week and yet i have seen God's tender love and mercy all the more because of it. i have been leaning on the prayers and encouragement of others this whole week and while it might not have stopped the tears it has brought peace. please keep praying- there was more bad news today. my sponsor needs to be interviewed with the government and the earliest date they could set is 18 March! so i will be in the US at least til the end of March. please pray for this situation- i no longer know what to say or ask for.

i don't think i'll repeat what i did 28 years ago but you never know . . .